An affair does not have to end a marriage but it must be dealt with and not simply just endured or forgotten. There are all kinds of ideas that couples may have which increase the chances for an affair. Some of those myths are:

1. Marriage is Magical– If this marriage is right, it won’t take any work.

2. Marriage is about Being in Love– If you are not “in love” right at this moment, something is wrong.

3. Affairs are not Your Fault if your mate fails to make your life a constant sate of ecstatic wonder– Frank Pittman M.D.

Having a realistic, honest view of marriage helps keep you and your spouse focused on the work of marriage and the bond you share.

If You are having an affair:

1. Stop it! -No more contact EVER

2. Tell the truth

3. Take total responsibility

4. Defensiveness, do not use, i.e.. “it is not my fault.”

5. Be accountable for where you are at all times

6. Your partners anger is not helpful for him or her or for the repair of the relationship, but it is not up to you to determine when enough is enough

If You have been cheated on:

1. Don’t try to make sense out nonsense- Rationalizing your spouse’s behavior is pointless

2. It is not your fault

3. Be careful with your anger– Rash statements such as “it is over” are not beneficial

4. Time heals nothing.  It is what you do with that time.

The best advice in how to deal with affairs is to stay away from potential pitfalls.  As always, the Bible has divine guidance.  In Proverbs, a father tells his son to how avoid temptation.

“ Do not let your heart turn to her ways.  Do not stay into her paths.”   ~  Proverbs 7:25

Lists taken from Mark Pittman and Dr. Phil McGraw