One of the best ways to teach children how to behave
responsibly is to apply natural and logical consequences. A natural consequence is simply the unavoidable consequence
of a particular behavior. It is nothing more than the inevitable reaction. The best example of this is if a child puts his
hand on the hot stove, he will get burned. A logical consequence is one that has been more or less arranged by the
parent through agreement with the child if possible. An example of this would be when a child refuses to put toys away after
playing with them. When the child wants to play with them again, the parent responds, "The last time you left them
on the florr I had to pick them up, so if you do not pick them up like we agreed, you cannot have them today." The consequence
must be logical or the corrective effect may be lost.
Allow your children to choose to change the behavior or experince the consequence. Be okay
with their choice. Parents should do very little talking or arguing while the logical consequence is taking place. Talk
less. Act more. Avoid saying, "I told you so," or "you are just getting what you deserve." These statements
turn logical consequences into a punishment. Instead say, "I'm sorry, but you will have to go to your room."
Some things that children do should
be ignored. Ignoring is a form of a logical consequence. If used corectly, natural and logical consequences place the responsibility
with the child for the child's behavior. Children learn responsibiilty most effectively this way. Parents
can more effective in other ways when not burdened with the responsibility for a child's behavior.
Finally, be both firm and kind in dealing with your children.
Firm refers to your follow through behavior. Kindness refers to the maneer in which choices are presented to children.