Upon getting ready for a premarital counseling session,
I came across a checklsit of topics that couples should talk about before they get married. It occurred to me that these
ideas are not one-time topics, but rather should be discussed more often. Upon reviewing the list, I became aware of
how some of my views on certain issues have changed. I also noticed that I have discussed these issues frequently with my
wife. Here is the checklist for you to review.Take some time to go over it with your spouse or potiential spouse. Have
fun.
The extent of agreement or disagreement
between you and your partner i the following areas can be a useful predicor of relationship success.
1.Work: Should there bo one or two earners
in the family? Should either of you be working part-time instead of full time? What are your career goals? HOw
do you feel about working late or on weekends? What about career related travel? What are your work/ family priorites?
2.Income: How much money is needed or desired?
What bills/debts do you bring to the relationship? How will the money be managed: seperate or joint accounts? Who will be
paying the bills?
3.Housing:
Where do you want to live? location, House or apartment?
4.Family: How much involvement should there be with relatives? How much dependance
should you have on relatives for help and advice? What topics are not to be discussed with family?
5.Friends: With which and whose friends
should you maintain friendships? What is your attitude towards relationships with opposite-sex friends?
6.Children: Do you want children? How many
children would you like to have? How should your children be cared for, disciplined and educated?
7.Activites: How often should you go out either separately or as a couple?
What type of lesiure activites do you like? how much money should you spend on activites?
8.Values: Do you have similar goals in life? Do you have the same morals as
your partner?
9.Religion:
Do you share religious beliefs? What are the differences? How strong are your beliefs? HOw important is church attendance?
10.Roles: What are your responsibilites
in regards to: Housework? Childcare? Employment?
You do not need to have
complete agreemnt on the preceeding issues, but you do need to discuss them and come to some type of agreement on them.